Breaking Bad goes to Universal Studios
by Cherno Alpha Russia
Summary: The characters of Breaking Bad go on a much needed vacation to Universal Studios for New Year's Eve, but it does not end well. Rated T for slight swearing, mild smexual situations, skinny dipping, more Kardashians and raining tacos. Jesse/OC Hank/Marie Walt/Skyler R
1. Chapter 1

Breaking bad goes to universal studios

A/N: this is going to be done in dialogue form for the speaking parts so have fun and enjoy. A warning before you read: there is light swearing, making out, roundhouse kicking, and rainbow farting minions.

The sun blinded Jesse as he woke up on New Years Eve, he stretched as he got out of bed to get ready for the day. When he was finished, he went downstairs to get some breakfast. Suddenly everyone tackled him except Skyler because she was pregnant AGAIN with 5 more kids!

Saul: *whines* Skyley I'm hungry.

Skyler: Ok sweetie I'll be there in a minute

Lauren: good morning everyone *falls down stairs*

Jesse: hahahahaha

Gus: I'm gonna go skinny dipping for a bit

Everyone (except Walt): DON'T DO IT PLEASE!

Gus: *gets naked outside and jumps in the pool*

Jesse: ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww I'm scarred for life  
*throws up skittles*

Walt: IMA BARBIE GIRL IN THE BARBIE WORLD LIFE IN PLASTIC ITS FANTASTIC!

Lauren: god no Walt, stop!

Gus: *gets out of the pool* can someone be a darling and get me a towel

Walt: YOU CAN BRUSH MY HAIR UNDRESS ME EVERYWHERE IMAGINATION LIFE IS YOUR CREATION ,COME ON JESSE SING COME ON BABY YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO!

Jesse: God no! *cringes*

Tuco: COME ON BARBIE LETS GO PARTY!

Walt: AH AH AH YEAH!

Everyone: *cringes* Oh my god *facepalms*

Robin thicke: hey everyone I'm Robin Thicke

Lauren and Jesse: *pimp slaps Robin Thicke* NO ONE GIVES A SHIT

Robin Thicke: Awwwwwwww nyahhhhh *cries*

Saul: mama I'm hungry

Skyler: *takes baby bottle off stove* ok mom's coming Saul ok? *feeds Saul*

As Saul got fed by Skyler, Walt Jr showed up with ALL the female Kardashians (and Kanye). Kim decided to twerk against Jesse and Kanye started to hit on Skyler while she was still breast feeding Saul. When Lauren saw what was going on, she punched Kim so hard that her boob implants and ass implants flew out all over the place. One landed in Mike's hot dog, but he still ate it and another landed on Walt's bald head. Then Walt got mad at Kanye for hitting on Skyler so they started throwing brown, mushy bananas at each other until Khloe and Kourtney both slipped on a banana and fell in the pool along with naked Gus.

Kim: eek my implants!

In the pool...

Gus: Hey girls, why don't you stay with me for a while *insert creepy sexual wink here*

Kourtney and Khloe: Eww a naked old guy gross! Come on sissy lets get out of here

Kanye: Yeah man, come on Kimmy we need to get you new $200,000,000 implants

Kim: Ok

As the Kardashians left, everyone realized that they needed to get ready so it was a mad rush.

Marie: Move out of the way beotch

Hank: I gotta shave my camel toe!

Jesse: Hank, thats nasty

Hank: I DONT CARE! I LOVE IT YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS THAT YOU DON'T HAVE A CAMEL TOE!

Jesse: I'm glad I don't have one...

Lauren: I'm glad I don't have one either

Marie: Guys, don't make fun of his camel toe

Jesse & Lauren: Shut up Marie, no one likes you.

3 hours later everyone was ready to go becouse Skyler was spending forever putting her makeup on, so everyone piled into the hybrid Mini and drove off

A/N: This chapter was kinda short I'll make the next one longer and more random  
Also, I will try and add rainbow farting minions and ZOMBIES!  
Yours truly  
~cherno


	2. Chapter 2

Breaking bad goes to Universal pt 2

On the way from their house to universal, no one said anything or even did anything until Mike decided he had the nerve to go break the piece and quiet for the rest of the trip.

Mike: Guys, I have constipation and I can't hold it much longer

Skyler: MIKE, YOU BETTER NOT HAVE DIARREAH ALL OVER MY NEW CAR SEATS OR I'LL KILL YOU!

Todd: That's what she said ;)

Marie: Yeah Mike!

Skyler: Shut the hell up Marie!

Marie: HEY I STOOD UP FOR YOU YOU SHOULD BE THANKFUL FOR THE THINGS I DO FOR YOU BECAUSE I'M YOUR SISTER AND YOU TREAT ME LIKE CRAP AND- *gets tasered by Dave the minion*

Dave: *speaks in minion language*

Walt: *lets out girly scream* ewwwwww what is that disgusting thing?

So Skyler threw Dave out of the window, little did she know that THINGS WERE HAPPENING, DUN DUN DUUUUUUNNNNNN

Walt Jr: *secretly starts reading 50 shades of grey in the back* ohhhhhhhh sexy

Gus: Are we there yet?

Walt: No

Saul: *squirms in car seat* Mama, I want my bottle NOW!

Skyler: Ok *gets Saul's bottle* Here you go baby

Saul: Mommy read me cat in the hat!

Skyler: Saul I'm driving not right now.

Gus: Are we there yet?

Walt: No

Gus: Are we there yet?

Walt: No Gus we are not there yet

Gus: Are we there yet

Walt: *sarcasm* OK YAY LOOK WERE HERE NOW LETS ALL GET OUT AND HEAD TO THE PARK! NO WE ARE NOT THERE YET OK SO SHUT UP AND GIVE ME TEN MINUTES OF PEACE.

Meanwhile, Lauren was brimming with excitement because she was going to her favorite park on New Years with Jesse. Hank was asleep because potatoes that's why.

Hank: zzzzzzzzzzzzz.. Me gusta Britney Spears...zzzzzzzzzzz...me gusta Paris Hilton...zzzzzzzz

Marie: *in a seductive voice* Hank, babe wake up

Hank: What is it Marie, this better be important

Marie: *straddles Hank* I'm feeling really frisky and I have no panties on.

Hank: LETS DO IT!

While Hank and Marie were making out, Jesse and Lauren were surprisingly the quietist ones

Jesse: Babe, you're really quiet, what's wrong?

Lauren: Nothing, I'm just trying to contain my excitement.

Jesse: Well, you're doing a pretty good job then.

Lauren: Hahaha really funny dude.

Jesse: Also, you need to make sure that I don't get lost there.

Lauren: Like it's gonna be like "Come on little Jesse, hold mummy's hand."

Jesse: *laughs* That's the funniest thing I've ever heard in my life!

Lauren: *pokes Jesse hard*

Jesse: Owwww!

Lauren: We're here Jesse. Well we're pretty close

Jesse: *grabs Lauren's hand* This is gonna be really fun :D

However, the fun was ruined when Mike couldn't hold it anymore and had diarrhea all over the car

Mike: Ooops *shrugs*

Everyone: Oh my god, Mike!

Mike: I splashed my tights *laughs*

Walt Jr: YOU REALLY THINK THAT THIS IS FUNNY MIKE? NOW WE'RE GOING TO HAVE THE SMELL OF SHIT THE WHOLE WAY TO UNIVERSAL AND I CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT!

Mike: Well I couldn't hold it!

Walt Jr: Well you should've!

Mike: At least I'm not ugly like you

Walt Jr: At least I'm not a stupid dumbass who has hairy man tits and watches My Little Pony and shits in people's cars!

Skyler: Walt Jr, apologize! You know better than to talk to someone than that

Walt Jr: Sorry Mike.

15 agonizing minutes later, they arrived in universal, and they pulled up to the booth to finally claim their reward of...A PUNCH IN THE FACE! No not really, they went to get preferred parking

Woman: Hi welcome to Universal, how can I help you today!

Jesse and Walt Jr: Wooohoooo pass the weed pass the weed Skyler!

Skyler: Shhhhhhhhhh I'm talking to someone

Jesse: That's what she said!

Skyler: Could I get preferred parking plz

Woman: sure

Walt: OK LADY YOU CAN SHUT UP NOW!

As everyone headed to the mystical parking garage, rainbow farting minions flew overhead  
And everyone knew it was going to be an "interesting" day.

A/N: How do you like it so far? Also, check out my RP forum Cherno's free for all Breaking Bad RP. If you want to do a private RP, PM me anytime, M'kay? More rainbow farting minions coming your way soon. Yours truly, Cherno :)


	3. Chapter 3

Breaking Bad goes to Universal pt 3

As they pulled into the parking lot (which was made of candy and gameboys), they found a pretty legit parking space. They were heading toward it when suddenly another car challenged them. There was a family of a jersey shore reject looking guy, a stoned woman, and 8 screaming, tired children.

Woman: Hey we were here first!

Skyler: No we were!

Man: There is only one way to solve this, with a BREADSTICK JOUSTING MATCH!

Then the stoner woman and Skyler were holding moldy, green breadsticks while sitting on the hood of their cars, ready to fight for that parking space.

Skyler: DRIVE WALT!

Woman: Drive Ronnie

Man: ok *hits the gas*

Majestic music played as the cars drove at Mach 3 speed at each other, and squirrels were doing the Thriller dance. As the women were about to hit each other with the rotting breadsticks, Madea and her date, Nicholas Cage pulled into the empty spot.

Nicholas Cage: OH HAIL NO U DID NOT TRY TO STEAL OUR SPOT!

Madea: *Puts up middle finger* HAHA SUCKAZ! *runs into park*

Suddenly zombie Paul Walker and Corey Monteith drove up and threw free waffles to everyone while they ate bubblegum ice cream

Zombie Paul Walker: Hey Corey!

Zombie Corey Monteith: What?

Zombie Paul Walker: TECHNO WAFFLE FRISBEE TIME! *turns on Cinema by Skrillex*

As Corey and Paul did techno waffle frisbee, everyone finally got out of the car, but with awkward results.

Tuco: Hey Flynn!

Walt Jr: What?

Tuco: Watch this *trips up Jesse on his way out of the car*

Jesse: Ahhhh son of a b- *falls on Lauren in an awkward position*

Lauren: Wtf awkward..

Steve: Ewwww stop doing it! I know you're hot Jesse, but dude get a room.

Jesse: *gets off Lauren* Sorry about that yo *helps her up*

Lauren: Thx Jesse *blushes*

Meanwhile, Hank and Marie woke up in the trunk where they put Mike's diarrhea.

Marie: Ewww Hankie Pankie wake up!

Hank: What baby?

Marie: There is old man poop EVERYWHERE!

Hank: Ewwww! Let's get out of here!

Marie: Ok. *gets out*

Then Skyler decided she needed to enforce some rules.

Skyler: Ok guys, if we're gonna stay here, we need some rules...

Saul: Nooooooooooooooo!

Skyler: Ok, here they are...

Everyone: Nooooooooooooooooooo!

Skyler's rules

1. Stick together at all times

2. Do not laugh, smile or giggle

3. Do not make "vines"

4. Be respectful

5. DO NOT TAKE MY BABY!

6. Do not say "yo" (This goes for Jesse and Walt jr)

Most of all

7. Do not scream too loud on the rides.  
_

Tuco: Dude are you serious?

Skyler: Yes I'm serious, dude, come on let's go.

So everyone started the trek to Universal Studios, not knowing what stupid things to expect when they got there. GOOD NIGHT CHICAGO ILY  
End of chapter (Finally... Jk but still)

A/N: Next chapter, I will add my OC, Carmela Stallworth, she will be a love interest for_. HAHAHA I'm not telling you yet, so go ahead, guess who gets this lucky OC in the comments! Goodbye and keep reading *turns into a toaster and flies away*  
Yours not so truly, Cherno


	4. Chapter 4

BBGTUS pt 4

When they finally made it out of the parking lot, it was about as crowded as a one direction concert, except there was no crazy, homicidal fangirls there.

Skyler: Now remember what I said.. Always stick together

Walt Jr: No one cares mom.

Todd: *obnoxiously* yeeeeaaah

Skylar: *slaps Todd*

Todd: Nyahhhh no fair *cries*

They got their bags and went on to the almost endless line of conveyor belts :D.

Badger: Yo Jesse!

Skinny Pete: I'm ugly! Yayyy! *jumps out of the window*

Badger: *runs onto conveyor belt* Loser has to kiss Michael Jackson..on the lips!

Jesse: Ready, set, go

Jesse and Badger raced on the endless conveyor belts until they got chased by a random Mexican family and Badger tripped up and faceplanted on the conveyor belt.

Jesse: Hahaha I win, now Badger gotta kiss MJ!

Badger: No I don't wanna!

One direction: Do it or we'll sing to you.

Badger: Ok ok ok ok, I'll do it  
*leans in to kiss Michael Jackson*

MJ: *jumps in Badger's arms* ILY baby *starts making out with Badger*

Jesse: *gags* wtf

Todd: *sees One Direction* OH EHM GEE ITS ONE DIRECTION! CAN WE LIKE TAKE A SELFIE TOGETHER?

Mike: I'm hungry.

When everything became normal again, they had to go through bag check.

Security guard: I'm sorry sir, you can't take your furby into the park.

Bane: Why not? It's so cuteeeee!

Security guard: Cuz it's creepy and you are ugly.

Bane: No, I'm beautiful *starts breakdancing*

Security Guard: Next in line.

Everyone: *Steps forward*

Security Guard: Is that pizza pockets in your bag?

Badger: *pushes off MJ* Yeah, I had them since last week *eats one*

Lauren: That is really disturbing.

The security guard got everyone's bag checked about 15 minutes later and the group finally made it to the citywalk.

Tuco: Man what's so special about this it's only stores.

Marie and Skyler: Shut up, Tuco! They have nice souvenirs there.

Walt: Nice souvenirs my ass, let's just go.

Skyler: Come on Marie, let's go shopping

Marie: Ok.

Suddenly really weird stuff started happening

Batman: DO THE HARLAM SHAKE *does the Harlem Shake with Tom Cruise*

Zombies: Hey love us we're beautiful.

Jesse: Hey Lauren!

Lauren: What?

Jesse: Take a selfie with me.

Lauren: K *takes selfie with*

Hank: *photobombs pic with his shirt off and has a tattoo of Kim and Kanye on his man boobies*

Jesse: Wtf Hank, you're a creeper.

Hank: *slaps Jesse's butt* Dayum you got junk in the trunk.

Lauren: *hits Hank in the crotch with an anvil* DON'T TOUCH MY BABY!

Jesse: Hardcore fan much?

Hank: Owww I broke my ass :,(

Walt: Come on everyone were wasting time *cough* Skyler and Marie *cough*

Skyler and Marie: Fine we are on our way over.

Channing Tatum: Hey girls need a lift over to your group?

Skyler and Marie: Would we ever *blushes*

Channing Tatum: *picks them up* here you go ladies *drops them off to group*

Marie: *faints*

Walt: Oh yeah, Mr nice guy, I can do it too *picks up Skyler and accidently drops her over bridge near Universal entrance*

Skyler: Walt help me! I can't swim and this is soy milk and I'm allergic.

Walt: Sorry, I gotta Instagram this smexy pic of Tom Hanks *sighs* oh Tom Hanks you dreamboat.

Walt Jr (Flynn): Oh my god! Mom! Mr Tatum, save her!

Channing Tatum: *rips off shirt* I'll save you ma'am! *jumps in and saves Skyler*

Walt: I'm jealous.

Hank: Me too *cries*

Skyler: Thank you Channing

Todd: Whoops *kills Channing Tatum*

Skyler: Nooooooooooooooo!

Jesse: Come on everyone!

Then they went to get their tickets because they were badasses like that and Skyler hates Todd now cuz he's a douchebag.

A/N More updates coming soon :D. I don't understand why there is no I, Frankenstien fandom on fanfiction. I watched the movie last night and really enjoyed it. Anyways, kudos to this fanfiction and Glass hearts will be updated very soon so stay tuned. Yours not so truly, Cherno


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